Although there are some of us that love their jobs, and all the things that come with it, most of us hate the 9-5 spell of torture and imprisonment. I’ve had jobs doing quite a few things, ranging from selling fast food to working in an office, and all of them sucked. Sure, the pay might have been alright, but the tasks themselves made you want to bang your head against a brick wall over and over again.
If you’re tired with your job and want to go out with a bang, here’s fifteen sure fire ways to get sacked. We hold no responsibility, of course 
1. Spend the day playing your favourite online game at your workstation. If caught, ask your boss if s/he’d like to face off.
2. If married, tell your boss you have the hots for his/her spouse. Works best if spouse is of the same sex.
3. Bring in a pet to work. Or better yet, a two week old baby. If asked why, state you can’t stand to leave them alone.
4. Start a blog using your real name talking about how bad the company you’re working for is. When no one is looking, set it as the homepage for all computers.
5. Photoshop your boss’s head onto the body of *insert hot porn star’s name here* and email it to everyone in your office.
6. Every morning, change the time on all the clocks in the office to ten minutes before you get off.
7. If you have to sign in at work, use wacky names like Ben Dover and Mike Hunt.
8. Write all important documents backwards, or in another language. Chinese or Persian works well.
9. Sign up for multiple dating agencies using your boss’s home phone number.
10. As soon as you make your first mistake (come on, we all have them) ask for a raise.
11. Wear a polka dot clown suit to work. If asked to tone it down, come in the next day with flip flops and shorts.
12. Impersonate your boss. Remember when you were younger – that annoying kid at the play ground that copied everything you said? Do the same. Use a high pitched voice for bonus points.
13. Ask your coworkers if they’d like to have hot, steaming sex during their lunch break. If any of them say yes, don’t turn up.
14. Come into work intoxicated.
15. Film a documentary talking about your coworkers (and your boss) and put it on Youtube. Email them the link.
There’s fifteen ways that will send you on your way to a sure fire sacking. Do you have any better ideas, or a funny tale about mischief done at work? Let us know, we’d love to hear it.
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July 27th, 2008 at 2:17 pm
Shheesh Jason these are some sure ways to get fired! I would love to do these, though I am not sure what would happen. I have never been one to get in huge trouble. Couldn’t you quit? Anyway I would hate working the 9-5, I have other ways.
Nathaniel’s last blog post..I Never Fail With My Designs
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July 27th, 2008 at 2:22 pm
This is hilarious! I just found your blog, and have got to say congrats! It looks great!
Work AT Home Mom Tara’s last blog post..VistaPrint Complaint & Horrible Review
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July 27th, 2008 at 6:43 pm
Hahaha, good stuff TUK, this will help out a lot of people trying to figure out a way out of there job. This will get them sacked with the quickness!
JK Swopes’s last blog post..How do you know you got a Google page rank update
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July 27th, 2008 at 9:26 pm
“14. Come into work intoxicated.”
Note that this won’t work for those in the printing industry. In fact, I think drinking and drug use are heartily encouraged there.
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July 27th, 2008 at 9:43 pm
I think if I dyed my hair purple I’d get sacked. But then again, they seem to be sacking almost everyone these days for minor offenses. :\
If they actually learned basic human interaction skills, they would probably have better business, and thus not need to fire so many people.
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July 27th, 2008 at 10:02 pm
Actually dating the bosses wife and having his kids start calling you daddy. That would do the trick when he found out. You might get more than fired though… might get fired at.
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July 27th, 2008 at 10:03 pm
Actually dating the bosses wife and having his kids call you daddy. That might get you fired when he found out… but then again, he might just fire something else at you.
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July 28th, 2008 at 12:09 am
Wow, these ways are pretty crazy. I don’t know anyone this brave (or this disrespectful) that would do these things to get out of their job.
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July 28th, 2008 at 1:41 am
Crazy tips. Only if you want to give up your day job and work from home.
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July 28th, 2008 at 3:06 am
Still don’t work (have to be 18 where I live), but you could just use the classic “I Quit” phrase
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July 28th, 2008 at 3:08 am
“4. Start a blog using your real name talking about how bad the company you’re working for is. When no one is looking, set it as the homepage for all computers.”
The sad thing about this one is I don’t think the owner of our company would get this.
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July 28th, 2008 at 5:01 am
Hey Jason, I saw that you stopped by my site today!!
Thanks, but I wonder why you didn’t leave a comment? I have been here several times and have always enjoyed your post… Love this one! If you can believe this I did do No.5 . WhenI worked at one of my jobs as designer, I photoshop a bunch of our lawyers all together but with speedos on. lol It was right after a meeting on sexual harassment!!! But I was in tight with the lawyers, good thing. lol Stop by again
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July 28th, 2008 at 5:44 am
hahahahah……… i think you have done these with your boss;)
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July 28th, 2008 at 1:48 pm
wow..i will be shock if i do this and still not get fired
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July 29th, 2008 at 1:39 am
Funny, I’ve always wanted to start a blog talking about my work- but i DON’T want to get fired, so I haven’t!
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July 29th, 2008 at 10:09 am
your tips are really very effective and these can be very helpful in firing somebody from his/her job. Thanks! for giving these valuable ideas. Really one can’t help reading this who is sick of job.
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July 29th, 2008 at 2:48 pm
Funny, huh
Nice tips Jason. I’ll try first one lol!
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July 30th, 2008 at 12:19 pm
hilarious. thanks for the funnies.
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August 3rd, 2008 at 1:36 pm
I was a but confused when I saw this. But good that you explained in the next post. So did you get a lot of traffic from Digg to this post?
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August 7th, 2008 at 11:48 pm
When I first saw this post, I knew what you were doing
.
Glad it appeared to work out well.
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December 29th, 2008 at 8:49 am
lol, I love them all but I think that number 11 is my favorite!
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September 14th, 2009 at 11:16 pm
Heheh love them! So many people are getting fired now because of facebook and having their boss as friends. Let’s remember not to add them if we want food on the table
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