Although there are some of us that love their jobs, and all the things that come with it, most of us hate the 9-5 spell of torture and imprisonment. I’ve had jobs doing quite a few things, ranging from selling fast food to working in an office, and all of them sucked. Sure, the pay might have been alright, but the tasks themselves made you want to bang your head against a brick wall over and over again.

If you’re tired with your job and want to go out with a bang, here’s fifteen sure fire ways to get sacked. We hold no responsibility, of course :razz:

1. Spend the day playing your favourite online game at your workstation. If caught, ask your boss if s/he’d like to face off.

2. If married, tell your boss you have the hots for his/her spouse. Works best if spouse is of the same sex.

3. Bring in a pet to work. Or better yet, a two week old baby. If asked why, state you can’t stand to leave them alone.

4. Start a blog using your real name talking about how bad the company you’re working for is. When no one is looking, set it as the homepage for all computers.

5. Photoshop your boss’s head onto the body of *insert hot porn star’s name here* and email it to everyone in your office.

6. Every morning, change the time on all the clocks in the office to ten minutes before you get off.

7. If you have to sign in at work, use wacky names like Ben Dover and Mike Hunt.

8. Write all important documents backwards, or in another language. Chinese or Persian works well.

9. Sign up for multiple dating agencies using your boss’s home phone number.

10. As soon as you make your first mistake (come on, we all have them) ask for a raise.

11. Wear a polka dot clown suit to work. If asked to tone it down, come in the next day with flip flops and shorts.

12. Impersonate your boss. Remember when you were younger – that annoying kid at the play ground that copied everything you said? Do the same. Use a high pitched voice for bonus points.

13. Ask your coworkers if they’d like to have hot, steaming sex during their lunch break. If any of them say yes, don’t turn up.

14. Come into work intoxicated.

15. Film a documentary talking about your coworkers (and your boss) and put it on Youtube. Email them the link.

There’s fifteen ways that will send you on your way to a sure fire sacking. Do you have any better ideas, or a funny tale about mischief done at work? Let us know, we’d love to hear it.

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